Youth Alternatives: Don't dwell on the problem

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CHEYENNE, Wyo - Kids sometimes get stuck on the bad things that happen to them. For example, someone may have cracked your daughter’s phone screen, or someone took your son’s favorite collector card, or perhaps a friend stole your daughter’s boyfriend.

When things like these happen, it is easy to get locked on to the problem. Dwelling on the problem, typically makes it worse. Cheyenne Youth Alternatives shares some advice on how to help your child to let it go and move on:

-Count the cost of dwelling on the problem. Dwelling on the problem:
Uses up lots of energy with no good outcome. He has no energy left for good things in his life. Do you have any positive energy? Makes him an angry person. One kid became angry at everyone, not just the person who wronged him. Do you want to be this kind of a person? Ruins the relationship with the other person. Anger and resentment create hostility and distance in relationships Do You Want to lose the relationship?

-Become solution focused. Do what you can do to improve the situation.
Ask for what you want. Replace the broken or lost object. Forgive the person. Do something will move the situation along. It may open doors that weren’t previously available to you.

-Look for the good that may come out of an unpleasant situation
Great and positive things often come disguised as difficulties or problems. You may not see them if you aren’t looking — Look for them.

-Be in charge of your thoughts and actions.
Don’t let circumstances define who you are or determine what you do. Be in control and don’t let circumstances push you around. Respond in a way that is consistent with who you are and with your values.