The following tips are provided by Dick Berry of Youth Alternatives:
Our Kids: Continued Misbehavior
Sometimes kids persist in making poor choices, no matter what parents do.
This of course is very frustrating is for parents. If you have a child like this, you can:
1. Identify Your Child's Pay Offs. The payoffs are more important to your child than
the punishment or behaving properly.
Q: What does your child get from what he is doing?
A. Big payoffs often include:
1.) Peer involvement or admiration from friends
2.) Being in charge or in control
3.) Increasing the sense of personal power
4.) Watching adults struggle with how to respond to them..they like the
SO you limit or stop the payoffs, or provide them in a positive way.
If he doesn't come home after school because he is hanging out with his friends,
you could pick him up after school or you could have a video game night and invite his
2. Understand You Are Not In Charge of Everything
A. Your Child Is Committed To Making His/Her Own Decisions
B. You can Manage some things, but you have limited control
C. Thinking you have to be in charge of everything puts too much pressure on you
and invites your child to avoid his/her responsibility
3. Keep Looking For Missing Puzzle Pieces That May Be A Negative Influence
A. Something may be wrong or something may be bothering your child
B. Traumatic event that happened to them or they witnessed: abuse, assault
C. Damaged relationship: we are social people
4. Affirm your love and your confidence in your child
A. Keep in mind that as this may be a passing phase.
B. Don't give up.