Advice Courtesy Dick Berry of Youth Alternatives
I want to emphasize the importance of ex-spouses working together to co-parent their children. This is important as:
A.Moms and Dads don't offer or do the same things.
B. Kids typically love both parents and don't want to choose one over the other.
Here are 4 tips for more effective co-parenting:
1. Deal with your own heart hurts.
* Face/deal with your issues regarding your ex-spouse...let go, forgive, move on
* Don't allow your hurt, anger, or bitterness get in your way of co-parenting.
* Your child needs your involvement.
2. Establish a communication connection.
* Finding an acceptable way to communicate with the other parent regarding parental issues is crucial. This allows Input from both parents to be considered.
* If face-to-face or phone calls are too difficult, use email or texting until your comfort level increases.
3. Do what you can do to improve the situation.
* Focus on what is under your control and turn loose of what you can't control.
* Many parents come in and say there is nothing else they can do. I tell them, "It is always your next move."
* Doing what you can do often opens a door that wasn't previously available to you.
4. Be responsible and care for your child. Your ex-spouse may feel like your child needs protecting from you. This of course interferes with you two parents working together.
* Have regular and predictable contact with your child.
* Show up for events and concerts
* Pay child support.
* Don't put the other parent down or say bad things about the other parent as this puts your child in a bad spot.