Information Courtesy Dick Berry of Youth Alternatives.
OUR KIDS: PARENTING IS A FUNNY JOB
I wanted to recognize
and laugh about a few of the difficult and strange expectations parents face.
Here are four of them:
Give them clear guidance.
Two extremely different people in almost every way possible are asked to
quickly come to an agreement about the most critical matters in their lives
with almost no training as to how to do that.
task is huge - GET SOME HELP! Don't do it by yourself. The goal here is to get the best from both
parents, while minimizing the yuck from each parent. Moms and dads bring different things to the
parental relationship. It is important
that both parent's perspective be included in the direction.
Protect them...but not too much.
Early on you are to protect them with your life, doing everything for
them...and just when you figure out how to do that, you are supposed to turn
them loose on their own and live happily with whatever they choose to do.
they move from being able to do nothing, to "I can do it myself." I must do it all by myself with absolutely no
help from you. If you do offer a
thought, I have to immediately reject it for ever.
must figure out how to do things on their own.
Begin now to help them
do what hey can do. Learn how to watch
them crash and burn while they are young and the crashes are small.
You need to be smarter.
You move from being the smartest person on earth to being dumb as a
is your IQ probably didn't fluctuate more than a few points. They developed the ability to think
abstractly - "fair". They
don't quite understand that you have the same ability. They just know hey can now see clearly, and
clearly you are wrong. Help them use their thinking...ask
questions rather than lecture.
You need to be cooler. You
move from being the coolest person alive to being someone who is so lame that
you are an embarrassment to be around.
you haven't gotten lamer. Billy Joel was
told by his daughter not to sing with the radio. Be
patient, they are trying to figure out if they are cool...once they figure it
out you will become cooler too. No need
to take it personally.