Information courtesy: Dick Berry of Youth Alternatives.
Sometimes kids deal with difficult situations by doing nothing, blaming others, or starting a fight with someone.
1. DO NOTHING: This is called denial or avoidance. Some things can be avoided at least temporarily without a great cost (not making his bed). Some things however get much worse if your child doesn't do something about it ( homework).
PLAN: DO SOMETHING. Things won't get better and will definitely get worse without some investment of energy. Help your child invest some energy in making things better.
FOLLOW UP: It is important to follow up on the situation. How hard was it? Was it worth it?
2. BLAME OTHERS: This shifts the focus away from himself. In doing so, he also shifts away his ability to do something about the situation.
PLAN: FOCUS ON YOURSELF. There is always something you can do to make the situation better. What strengths does he have that would help the situation? It is always his next move.
FOLLOW UP: What did he discover he could do to improve the situation? Take credit for what he did.
3. PICK A FIGHT: This is an angry aggressive response toward a person, not the problem.
PLAN: FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM.
FOLLOW UP: What could he do to fix the problem?
Do something he can do himself to make the situation better.